Starved
by SeraphimHelix
Summary: -*Artist AU*-Loki, a starving artist disowned by his family, meets his brother's beautiful fiance on a fateful afternoon.
1. Chapter 1

The creases and folds of Loki's knuckles were stained with paint. He moved his slender fingers slowly as he studied his hands, analyzing the foreshortening that came with his movement as only an artist would. These hands told his story.

A white scar graced the incline on the knuckles on his left hand. This was the scar Loki received when he and Thor had gotten into a fight several years ago. The cause of this quarrel plagued Loki's mind constantly. He'd never forgiven Odin for what he did to him, even after his death. Thor had clearly been the only son he sought love from, so Loki remained apathetic.

His eyes journeyed down from his knuckles to the veins that scaled his hands with blue and purple. These were the same veins that had protruded with fury as his father told him Thor would carry his legacy. These were the veins that trembled as Loki had experienced fits of anxiety in his lonely apartment. These veins kept him alive in a life that felt like death.

A sharp ring of the doorbell interrupted his thoughts and Loki stood from his tarnished metal stool. He lightly kicked away bits of art supplies and paper here and there with his bare feet as he emerged from his living room. Situated in such a small apartment, this living room was where Loki did almost everything. A modest, narrow kitchen had been shabbily built next to it, and art supplies were inappropriately strewn along the counter. Loki swore under his breath as he grabbed a footstool and dragged it in front of the door. The imbeciles who built this apartment put the peephole far too high on the door. Loki stood at a height of 6ft 1 and still needed a few inches to reach it.

Balancing one foot on the step, he leaned into the door. Long golden hair was the first thing he noticed but, his brain didn't quite process who the person in the warped, circular image was for a few moments. Thor shifted impatiently outside with only the forehead of a brunette visible to Loki next to him. Loki angrily kicked the stool out of the way and cracked the door open.

"It's been two years, brother. Why do you visit me now?" Loki growled, the pain clear in his spiteful voice.

A small, dainty hand thrust from the brunette's side to Loki's field of vision. The ring finger was adorned with a gaudy silver ring covered in gleaming diamonds.

"I'm Jane," The petite woman said as Loki realized she intended to shake his hand. "I'm Thor's fiance. It's great to finally meet you." Her lipgloss shimmered as her mouth spread into a smile.

_Fiance. Thor is getting married._ "Come in." Loki swung the door wide open, leading them inside his unkempt apartment. "How is Asgard doing?" He already knew what the answer to this would be. Asgard, Thor's real estate empire, was of course as successful as ever. Odin passed down the entirety of his company to Thor and had not given a single penny to Loki.

"Very well." Thor straightened his suit and sat at the dining room table, eyeing the old chair skeptically as if it had not met his standards.

Jane happily seated herself next to him as she rummaged through her purse. Loki leaned against the back of his torn couch, facing them with his arms crossed.

"I'll invite you to the wedding in just a minute," Jane bit her lip, tossing a few items on the table. "If I can actually find the invitation."

"Well, Thor is a lucky man to be marrying a woman as charming as yourself." Loki couldn't help but smile at Jane. She tucked her hair behind her ear and looked up, returning his smile.

"Thank you, Loki. You're very sweet." She resumed her search for the invitation.

"Loki," Thor began, exhaling through his nose and scraping his beard. "Have you had any success in your art?"

"I'm an artist." Loki shrugged. "Are any artists truly successful? Some have wealth but no confidence in their work. Others have poverty but have a surplus of pride. I, on the other hand, possess no money or pride. I live every day on my next sale which depends on whether people have confidence in me. My opinion doesn't matter at all. In the end, the world really is about money, isn't it? But, that is only this world. The world beyond ours, the one we reach when we die, does not judge us on our wealth but rather on our worth. And that is why a poor, unconfident artist like myself cannot succeed, whether in life or in death."

The room had fallen silent. Jane was frozen in her seat, her hands stuffed in her handbag and her eyes glued on Loki.

"You're right." Thor said. "All that matters in this world is money. So, you cannot depend on your philosophies to pay for your food."

"Thor." Jane nudged him. "Don't say that. That's terrible."

"It's alright, Jane, you mustn't defend me." Loki walked to Jane, his rather tight black pants stretching as his legs moved. "Here." He snatched the white letter from her breast pocket with a grin.

She laughed at her ignorance as she put her wallet and keys back into her purse. "Right under my nose…" She muttered.

Loki stuck his thumb inside the corner of the envelope. The lack of any contrast between Loki's skin and the white paper was alarmingly strange. But, after all, Loki didn't spend much time outside at all. He slid his thumb along the fold, tearing the paper as it moved. He took out the small card and read the details of the invitation while absently combing through his hair.  
"It's at your house? I expected something much more extravagant from you." He smirked at his brother.

"Yes, but most people's living quarters don't look like yours." Thor retorted.

"Thor, please." Jane placed a hand on his upper arm.

"Yes, Thor, please." Loki scoffed.

"I came here to ask you to be my best man." Thor said suddenly, catching Loki off-guard.

"And I graciously decline." Loki tossed the invitation on the kitchen counter.

Jane rose from her seat, the chair scraping against the floor loudly. "You have to! He's your brother. Come on, just bury the hatchet already."

Loki tilted his head as he contemplated what to do. His brother had without a doubt disowned him the same way his father did. Thor hadn't questioned Odin at all. He simply cut off all ties with Loki and let him live in poverty. But, this woman, so delicate and beautiful, seemed to care for Loki without even knowing him. Her sincerity was clear and her motives were kind. So, as Loki looked at this woman, he made a decision that even surprised himself.

"I'll do it." He said to Jane. He never even glanced in Thor's direction. "I'll be his best man."


	2. Chapter 2

"I'm so glad you came to see us." Jane said between a sip of tea. "It's great to see you and your brother getting along."

"Yeah." Loki nodded passively. Thor gave a strained smile to Jane.

Loki couldn't believe he agreed to this. Just yesterday he had not only decided to go to Thor's wedding, but he was also going to be his best man. As in, the most important person to the groom besides his bride. He couldn't even begin to imagine all the false things he'd have to say in his speech to appease Jane. But, here he was, sipping tea in Thor's dining room pretending that he hadn't been shunned and abandoned by his family.

"Do you have a suit to wear to the wedding?" Jane inquired. Of course Loki didn't have a suit. He was dirt poor. "If you don't we can get you one."

Thor cleared his throat, disgruntled by the proposition. "That's not necessary. He can borrow one of mine."

"One of yours?" Loki barely contained his smile. "Are you serious?"

It was an absolutely ridiculous idea. Thor was taller than Loki and far more muscular. Thor's suit would hang off him like a blanket.

"Thor," Jane frowned. "I don't think that-"

"It's fine." He insisted. "He can try it on."

Thor's motives became clear to Loki. After all these years, after all of Loki's suffering, Thor refused to spend a single penny on him. Loki unconsciously shook his head with disgust. He stuffed a small rectangular biscuit into his mouth so he wouldn't have to say anything more.

"Okay." Jane said slowly and unsurely. "Loki, would you like to go to our closet so you can try on the suit?" She stood, walking to the door and leading him out of the room.

He nodded amiably and followed her. He walked down the hallway, noticing the impeccably clean hardwood floors and the neatly hung pictures of Jane and Thor on the walls. It was like something from a magazine.

"In here." Jane said quietly, leading him into the master bedroom. "Excuse the mess."

There really wasn't any mess but, of course people always find the need to say that. Loki followed into the expansive walk-in closet and was handed a plastic covered suit.

"You can put it on in here. I'll wait in the room." She slid the door shut.

The moment Loki pulled the plastic covering off the suit, he knew he'd look ridiculous in it. It was conspicuously large and he contemplated just hanging it back up. But, Jane was waiting for him, and he didn't want to insult her in any way. So, he pulled off his loose long-sleeved white top and dark torn jeans and adorned himself in the plethora of unnecessary material.

He looked into the mirror and saw the pathetically skinny man staring back at him. He felt as if though Thor had reduced him to nothing. Loki could not fit into this suit the same way he couldn't fit Odin's expectations. Thor was the bigger brother. The more important one. The more successful one. The one that was worth anything at all.

He slid the door open solemnly, not meeting Jane's gaze. "It's big but, I'll just have to make do." He said quietly. "I don't have anything else." Never in his entire life had he felt so embarrassed.

"No." Jane said with certainty. She stood up from the edge of her bed and faced him, one arm on each of his shoulders. "Don't listen to Thor. You go change out of that thing and I'll drive you to a store where we can get you a proper suit and some shoes."

Loki was a little taken aback. Jane had completely ignored Thor's wishes for a man she had only met yesterday. And going against Thor was no small feat. Everything about him was threatening.

"Are you sure?" Loki asked.

Jane nodded. "Of course. It's my decision, so if Thor doesn't like it that's his problem."

A curious smile played on Loki's lips as he leaned in and kissed her cheek. "Thank you. You're very kind, Jane."

As he pulled away, her face flushed into a pale red. It puzzled her that she was so embarrassed considering that Loki was her brother-in-law and what he did was simply a friendly gesture. But, something about the way he did it made her inexplicably flustered. He did it so softly, with so much affection. Judging from the way his eyes were now fixed on her lips, he had wanted much more. Jane pulled herself out of her thoughts and took a step back.

"You better get changed." She muttered.

Loki flashed her a sly grin before he slid the closet door shut. Jane mulled over Thor and Loki's feud as she waited. She had never understood why Thor would leave his brother so helpless simply because their father favored Thor. She thought Loki must have been an awful person, but from what she had seen, he was just damaged. _I'll ask him._ She thought. _I should hear his side of the story._

"Loki," She called, lightly tapping on the door. "Can I ask you something?"

"Yes, come in." He said to her.

As she got into the closet, her eyes widened immediately. This man was shameless!

Loki stood in front of her wearing only a pair of black boxers and an unassuming expression. His appearance was so strikingly different from Thor's. The combination of his long black hair and ghostly white skin was so beautifully unusual. His body looked emaciated in comparison to Thor's but, in the most strangely attractive way. He was delicate, yet masculine.

"Your question?" Loki grinned, noticing Jane's blatant staring.

"Um," Her eyes flitted away from him. "I'll ask you later. Just finish up, okay?"

He let out a small laugh under his breath. "Alright."


	3. Chapter 3

"What kind of suit were you looking for?" The dark haired woman at the counter eyed Loki as if he were a doll ready to be dressed.

Loki felt incredibly out of place in this shop. He hadn't stepped foot in such a high-end place since before he left Odin's home.

"I think a fitted suit would be best with his slim frame." Jane decided.

"My slim frame?" Loki smirked. "I knew you were checking me out."

Loki counted his silent victory internally, noting with a sense of achievement that his own brother's fiance was indeed attracted to him.

Jane laughed nervously as the woman searched through a catalog with one hand and grabbed some measuring tape with the other. Loki noticed the haphazardly pinned name tag on her breast that read "Sif".

"I'll take your measurements now if you don't mind." Sif said, stepping outside of the counter.

"Oh, of course, darling." He gave her a quick wink.

Jane raised an eyebrow incredulously. When she had first met Loki, he seemed so shy and in only the past few hours, he had revealed himself to her half-naked and flirted with a woman he'd just met. She had to admit, he was a bit of a charmer.

Sif overtly rolled her eyes at Loki's flirtatious attempts and wrapped the tape around his chest. She wrote the measurements one by one on a little notepad held by an apron tied around her waist.

"I'll go get a few suits for you in the back. You can wait in the dressing room right over there." She pointed to a stall with black silk curtains.

"Thank you." Loki answered as Jane sat down in one of the many expensive-looking leather sofas in the shop.

Within a few minutes, Sif was back, draping several suits over the bar that held the dressing room curtains up. "Tell me how those work for you."

Loki muttered a few words of gratitude and began to undress himself. His eyes moved automatically to the suit including a blazer with a tail that would reach his knees. Curiously, he removed the white shirt that matched it from its hanger and buttoned it on himself. Next, he slipped on a pair of slim black pants, deftly tied the black tie around his neck, and finally, shrugged into the long blazer.

His face lit up immediately and he could not contain the grin that was forming on his thin lips. Never in his life had he looked more powerful. He raked his fingers through his dark messy hair, letting it fall onto his shoulders.

"You doing alright?" Sif's voice came from outside the curtain. "Do you need anything?"

"Shoes," Loki said, glancing at his bare feet in the mirror. He resolved that he couldn't let Jane see him until this look was complete. "I need shoes."  
"We can look at some shoes after you've tried on a few-"

"No, I must have them now."

"Um," Sif said unsurely. "Do you want to come out and pick a pair then?"

Loki thought for a moment and then smiled. "Tell Jane to pick some for me."

"Is she the-"

"Yes," Loki answered quietly. "The beautiful woman I came here with."

Sif nodded to no one in particular, and walked to Jane who was sitting patiently with her hands folded on her lap.

"He, uh," Sif bit her lip. "He wants you to pick out some shoes for him."

"Oh." Jane said, a little surprised. "Could you.."

"Yeah." Sif answered abruptly, motioning for Jane to follow her.  
They went through a short, enclosed hallway that led to a wide, rectangular, carpeted room that held an array of men's leather shoes. The selection lined the walls of the room, and in the clear, near-bare center, lay four small couches.

Jane stepped toward the wire rack right across from her and carefully brushed her fingers along a few matte leather shoes and then downward to some glossy ones.

"What's his style?" Sif inquired, circling comfortably around the room with an attitude that implied that she knew of every single shoe in her vicinity.

"I'm not sure." Jane said, moving along to the next rack.

"How could you not know?" Sif frowned, perplexed. "Isn't he your husband?"

Jane whirled around swiftly. "No!"

Sif took a step back as though Jane's answer had a physical impact. "Sorry, I just saw your ring, and how he referred to you-"

"He's my broth- My future brother-in-law-" Jane stammered. "I-I'm marrying his brother."

"Sorry, I thought-"

"Its ok." Jane dismissed her and turned back to the shoes.

She held one hand to her flushed face, wondering how that had made her so flustered. Sif had only asked a simple question. She gazed down to the opposite rack of shoes and found a narrow, black pair that seemed so unbelievably like Loki. The tips tapered into a square toe and the leather was sewn so artfully. She grabbed them, almost in a trance and took them to Sif.

"These." She said. "These are perfect."

"Good choice." Sif approved with a polite smile.

"How did he refer to me?" Jane asked quietly as they exited the room.

"Huh?" Sif replied.

"You said, uh," Jane tried. "You said you thought my brother-in-law was my husband because of the way he referred to me. What did he say?"

The saleswoman laughed under her breath. "He said you were beautiful."

"He…" Jane trailed. "Oh."

She mentally scolded herself. _Why did it even matter what he said?_

Sif grabbed a pair of thin black socks behind a counter and placed them, along with the shoes, under the curtain of Loki's dressing room.

"Thank you, darling." Loki spoke in his naturally velvet tone.

The two women waited outside patiently as Loki laced up his shoes and straightened himself out. The curtain flung open with an robust swing of Loki's arm. His skinny frame looked no longer weak but almost otherworldly, as though he was a delicate dark prince from another dimension. Jane stared for a moment, speechless.

"I don't think it's really necessary for me to try on the others." Loki snickered, ruffling his long blazer.

"Yeah," Jane said, her voice coming out as mere breath.

"So you'll be taking this one then?" Sif asked.

"Yes, with these shoes." Loki affirmed.

"Alright, let me just check the tag and I'll set up a bill for you guys." She pulled a small rectangular paper out of the back of Loki's jacket and then proceeded to her counter.

Loki approached the wordless Jane and touched her shoulder gently. "I can't thank you enough for this. No one's ever done anything so kind for me."

She stood up suddenly, realizing that the space between them was all too small. "Loki," Her voice croaked. It wasn't what she meant to say at all. 'You're welcome' or 'it's no problem' were what her mind had told her to say but that wasn't what had escaped her lips.

Loki frowned out of concern for her. "Are you okay?"

"Yes! I just-" Her gaze flitted downward to the floor. The only thing that kept playing in her mind was a scene from _The Great Gatsby_. She had read the book countless times in her life. In this particular scene in Gatsby's house, Gatsby had flung an array of illustrious shirts onto his bed and Daisy had been so overwhelmed with the loss of this life with him that she burst into tears. When he asked what was wrong all she could say was that she was sad because she'd never seen such beautiful shirts before.

Jane folded the creases on Loki's blazer and spoke in a dreamy tone. "It's just made me sad."

"Sad?" Loki grasped her hands from his chest and held them sympathetically.

_Because this should have been your life_, she thought. But, she knew she couldn't say that. He knew that already, and his recent reunion with Thor had reminded him of it even more. A rotating rack of scarves overwhelmed her peripheral vision, and she quickly grabbed a green scarf and came back.

"It made me sad that you didn't have a scarf to go along with this." Her face creased with a mixture of a grimace and a smile.

Loki felt the gold embroidery on the scarf with admiration. "Now it's complete." He said happily.

"Beautiful." She said under her breath.  
"Hm?" He responded, removing the scarf so he could give it to Sif.

_It looks beautiful_, she thought, but instead, "You're beautiful" were the words that came out of her mouth.

Loki's eyes widened in surprise, the green flecks in their irises becoming all the more visible. He blinked, not sure what to say.

"I-" She started but was interrupted by Sif.

"I've got the bill ready!" She announced.

Loki and Jane walked together in the counter, and Jane proceeded to pay for everything on the list. Loki surreptitiously stared at Jane the entire time, taking in every feature. Every curve and slope of her face, every crease in her lips.

_You're beautiful_, the words played again in his head. _You're beautiful_.


End file.
